Letters to the Unknown Reader Series 1 - Team

 Hello dearest Reader,

A week has gone by and as you know I have another story to share. At times I feel like I am the story teller in Arabian Nights. Every week brings forth stories of different hues. This week like quintessential Mumbaikar ( people of Mumbai) we celebrated monsoon with a team outing to the hills of Khandala. It’s ritual we have been doing over years. Every monsoon there’s this whispers in the office bay, talking of the same destination, but different location, some fun activities, food , music, splashing in pool and chatting away about everything but work.

Have you ever wondered specially those of us, who are full time workers - working away at our desks, to earn a living, to follow a passion, to be the change, to grow and to learn, usually spend more than half of our waking hours in office. As we skittle along our keyboards meeting deliverables, catering to clients and attending high octane meetings, we unconsciously form a family, “a work family”. And like the definition of any family, we fend for each other, fight our battles together and race towards one goal. And as years pass by, your colleagues become an integral part of your lives, intertwined with daily laughter, joys, sorrows and frustrations.

These outings are an outlet for our raucous, uninhibited self, where we spend time outside the walls of the formal enclosure . There is dancing, and rolling in the floor with laughter, splashing in the pool in abandon, gorging on food and drowning in mirth thrown in abundance. The singing, the story sharing and throwing colours at each other as we indulged in group activities creates memories. As we frolicked and cracked up, a group of 15 odd folks, between the age group of 25 to 45 we learnt from each other, as we grew into a stronger team.

The best part of such outings is that you get a peek into people’s life at a very human level. We get to know about their history, their passion, their kids, their dreams, their love stories and their struggles. As you spend hours under the rain drenched sky, exchanging ghost stories, you realise, you are no different than one big family, where each other matters at an intrinsic level.

I wish you have encountered such wonderful team, which makes you feel at home, makes you feel accepted and loved as we traverse the professional world. Have a great week ahead with your kind of tribe.

Always yours,

Pocket full of life

Letters to the Unknown Reader Series 1 - Catching up with time

 Hello Dear Reader,

Hope last week treated you well. I had a breathless one, which I skied through, in wreck less speed, avoiding catastrophic consequences by the nick.

You might think what kind of earth shattering phenomena had touched my life. But to understand my previous statement you need to know me a bit. So taking the opportunity of introducing my persona through this letter. I’m a loner who’ve adapted a gregarious, exuberant layer of extroverted personality to navigate life. My cautious, socially nervous, people pleaser heart, wears a lion’s attire and roars away in glory. My fear of failure and anxiety of abandonment pushes me to over work, over compensate and do every other thing, which is way over the line of my physical and emotional capacity. You might now get a glimpse of how overwhelming for me is the life I lead. It’s a complete contradiction to my own natural rhythm.

Last week my work pushed me to spend long hours in office, which was followed by even longer hours spent on my social commitments. The hours included multi tasking and wearing different hats of being a professional, a social contributor, a wife, a mother, a financial planner, a tax advisor, a chef, a career and education Counselor and God knows what else. I just felt like a candle which is burning out too fast, too soon. So I decided to pause and remember things which calms me, makes me look inward, and soothes my soul.

I love cooking, especially for the people who are special to me. For me that’s the easiest way of expressing love, respect and care. If I have cooked you a meal, be rest assured you’re in my book of priorities. You’ll always have me covering your back.

 I also enjoy flowers, they make me happy. Just looking at them brings a smile. I’ve rarely been given flowers, but I do indulge in them often. Softest of petals with loveliest of fragrances.

Nothing calms me more than art. I admire them, specially water colours of places of beauty. They invite you to the world they create. I wish I could paint, but thankfully I am surrounded by talented folks, who allows me to peek into their creative world.

My affinity to nature goes back a long way. I was born and brought up in the small towns smattered across Bengal. Without the plants, the greens, the birds and open sky, I feel like a fish out of a pond, claustrophobic and dead. I spend hours looking at my green nook tucked in corner of my balcony hanging over the busiest and most crowded city of India. 

And of them all I love books, of  all kinds, shapes and sizes. I go berserk inside book a shop. My favourite dream has a shady tree, under the open sky, a book and me lying underneath, engrossed in each other. 

To end my list, I align with my rhythm, when I walk the path of a seeker. A seeker who searches for the meaning of existence and purpose of life. And what a beautiful journey it is, when you walk alone but complete unto your own self.

I hope all of you have your pockets full of wonderful magic, which calms you down and aligns you to your own beautiful rhythm. I wish you courage and faith to wear whatever personality life commands you to adorn with grace and dignity. I will pray that you always have the power to recognise the difference between your truest self and the myriad personas you play as you navigate life.

Always yours,

Pocket full of life

Letters to the Unknown Reader Series 1 - Devine Web

 Hello Dearest Reader,

This week was hectic, I flew across cities travelling thousand miles in a single day, spent few hours with those who call our own and went through a whirlwind of paperwork in government offices to sell off a dream. Dreams are a peculiar phenomenon, they nest in your heart and take shape as time flows. However if you have ever experienced dreaming the same dream with another person, you will know that those dreams though one take two different forms because of two different individual involved. And when the dream becomes too complicated to reside in space-time conundrums, it’s much better to give it up.

Well talking about dreams, takes me to a fabulous weekend lunch, spent with two of my closest friends. They are coming together to build a home out of a dream they both share. It was a heart warming story of love that walked past previous relationships that didn’t work, traversed the social and familial reservations and reached its destiny. I have always wondered, why people tend to characterise love between two humans. I find it lofty and arrogant to colour the purest form of all emotions in the hue of your individual outlook. The world usually have no qualms to typecast it as good, bad or ugly depending on personal perceptions. Even though they are not living the life of the two individuals concerned, do not understand the dynamics of their relationship with life and the world at large. 

I had the privilege of growing up in a very liberal family and my father is an exceptional man who has tremendous capacity for looking ahead in time. He always used to tell me, that love is like water. It will take the shape of the container that you pour it in. However it retains its own character and never becomes the container. Now when I look back , I find it profound that he thought of explaining love to a 16 year old girl with such lucidity. I have had my share of falling and failing in love. Parts of me have died inside, but I survived. I have loved deeply, so I know, how beautiful it is. And I have lost too, which gave me glimpses of death. I have a deep reverence for this particular emotion. This one can make life worth living and death equally beautiful as it allows to evade the pain of a broken heart.

Now when I reminisce and see a thousand lives lived, I understand that love is complete unto itself. There are loves which do not have a destination, do not have a future or a past. It just thrives in the present. You love and that’s about it. Your love is not dependent on any reciprocal emotion, nor does it search for an outcome. It neither dreams of a future nor cherishes the memories of past. It breathes in the moment. When transiency is what is permanent in this life, your existence is nothing but a mirage. When you know that you don't seek anything. You just be.

Hoping all of you get your kind of love. Praying that life gives you situations where you abandon apprehensions and love with the freedom of your natural instincts. May your heart be filled with the elixir that makes living every minute worthwhile.

Always yours,

Pocket full of life

Letter to the Unknown Reader - Monsoon Magic

Hello dearest reader,

How have you been in the last seven days? Has the summer brought in happiness or was it too scorching to bear? From my corner of the world I have enjoyed the first burst of rains, incessantly washing over my city. Making it slushy and wet. A beautiful reminiscent of how nature nurtures its own.

I have heard people associate different emotions with the rains. It’s like Nature’s own mood board, anyone can come and pin anything on it. Mumbai, as a city welcomes the rains with open arms. The trekking, the river rafting, the getting drenched, the classic movie songs all pictured in the rains are what creates the essence of monsoon.

Yet some places associate gloom, dullness and monotony with it. The soggy clothes and musty smells drowned in sound of water dripping from a sky which is constantly shades of grey, sinks your heart.

I, myself tread the season very cautiously. For me, it is the door way to memories which reminds me of broken hearts, unkept promises, unfulfilled dreams and romance that breathed its last. Have you ever let the rains brush your face along with gusty winds? It plays at your heartstring in ways which only evokes tears. As if your internalised pains burst forth seeking conformity in the larger canvas of nature. The urge for validation, to be recognised as a truth, pulls at your core and draws out demons who you have put to rest. 

You see, ravages of broken heart and unrequited romance, never sees the light of the day. They creep out slowly under the shroud of night sky. The monsoon rains embraces these emotions with open arms like a lover who has returned from a far off land, after a very long time. It kisses your lips with all the tenderness of a love that couldn’t be and embrace you with a passion of lost love. I am wary of the rains. Never sure if I should be grateful for the door it opens for me to look at the embedded emotions or should I curse it for drowning me in the pain which took eons to navigate and efforts of a lifetime to survive.

So to all of you, indulge in the grey, beautiful mood board of nature. Personalise it! Live it! The only season where your past, present and future walk hand in hand. The magic of monsoon is like the Sorcerer’s Stone, what it touches, it changes. It brings alive the deepest part of a very ‘dead’ you.

Always yours, 

Pocket full of life

Letter to the Unknown Reader Series 1 - Transitional Love

 

Hello Dear Reader,

The last week ushered in “The Hallowed Monsoon” in India and Mumbai in particular. Mumbai rains act as an equaliser in the city. It pours over all and sundry without discrimination and brings forth curses, umbrellas, water clogged roads and even more clogged traffic with mirth that defies sanity. Unlike other Indian cities where there’s respite between rains, Mumbai rains don’t get breathless before at least a week to 10 days. It will hold you by the collar and jangle your nerves till you’re humbled enough to thank God for the shelter you have and emotionally refuse to leave it behind for any kind of work. Away from  Covid menace, the ‘Work From Home’ concept now thrives in this season where it becomes a crutch for commuters as they can afford not to travel and still get their work done.

And as I stayed put working from home over a few days stretching to a weekend I got to spend some quality time with our new pet Mithai. Mithai is the second one in our family after our first retriever Kulfi left us in shock and with a broken heart. Very like my Indian roots, two back to back pets made me draw comparison. The first one obviously smarter, more civil, with a bigger heart and better intelligence being my heart beat, was always closer to my heart. So close, that at times with Mithai, I felt that I am having to put off with an obnoxious dog looking donkey as pet instead of the king of the canine world, Kulfi. In truth, I had closed my mind , heart and brains to not let Mithai in. I was so convinced that Mithai is a mistake thrust upon me, that I avoided him to the extent it’s possible to avoid a fur ball always lolling at your feet. 

Everything Mithai did, brought in a frown and smirk. His unruly toilet habits, his joker like way of gobbling up his food, his chewing every corner of my precious coffee table, tearing off the edges of my rug, irritated me and pushed my button. I swear on God even his happy smile looks manic and confirms his lunacy. Unlike his angelic elder brother, Kulfi who could melt iron hearts with one “hug me” look, this one just brought me to the edge of losing my credibility as a pet parent. As Mithai tore apart my love filled heart for all four legged creatures with his antics, I started to enjoy his unpredictable raucous nature. His fearsome competition with his daily carrot treat, where he will play with it like a football, trying dribble it and throw it up in the air before catching and biting into it with luscious joy, made me laugh. I could understand why he starts nipping at us trying to gain attention, calling us when he’s hungry and dragging us when he wanted to play. I slowly started reading Mithai. His vocabulary is not similar to Kulfi’s but his needs are the same. His expression are definitely not as sober as his elder brother’s but intentions where the same.

I realised that your life gets touched with different kinds of love. All of them, changing you in a way which is unfathomable. As I’m still coping with the loss of Kulfi, Mithai has started inching in slowly and steadily. I hope dear readers, you give yourself a fair chance to love the second time, third time or as many time as it may call for. For we love not for others but our own sake. Inherently human nature takes to love and acceptance, until civilisation taught us to be selfish. As the world grows murkier in front of the eyes which are ageing, do love in abundance, in whatever forms, shapes, and sizes it comes to you. And do not look for similarities or precedence. This one emotion however age old will never fail to surprise you and go by teaching a few lessons.

Here’s wishing love, transitional in nature, fickle and unpredictable for the coming days. Stay well and try to stay inside if you’re in those parts of the world where’s rains are lashing in.

Always yours,

Pocket full of life.

Letter to the Unknown Reader Series 1 - From home

 Hello dear Reader,

How have you been the whole of last week? I’m hoping that from the corners of your world, you have been able to taste the different delicacies life had thrown at you. As the saying goes, we become what we consume. Hence we need to have a connoisseur’s eye to only take in what adds to our soul enrichment.

To listen to my heart, I made a short trip to my hometown Kolkata to attend rice ceremony of a very close to heart bundle of joy. And added to the occasion, I managed to throw in 3 days worth of time with my family. At times our treadmill of life makes us forget to pause, to realise that time like sand is slipping through our tightly held fist. At the cost of getting to the next milestone which is still not ours, we forget look around and enjoy what is changing slowly along with us. A father, whose wrinkles have started to show, yet the craving of his heart to be close to his baby girl unchanged and increasing, a mother who has found a friend in her grown up daughter and wants to share all her hobbies with her, a brother who has been a partner-in-crime during the growing up years, is ready to walk by his sister’s side as both grey.  A nephew who was the chubbiest, cutest babe around, growing up into a tall lanky teenager, eager to share his growing up stories with his aunt, a sister in law who is more than a sister, and in- laws who have become home…..all changing slowly as I’m inching closer to my end post.

This trip was for the family and dedicated to the family, to the laughter, to the place I grew up in, to the delicious home cooked food rustled up so that I could re-visit my childhood, to the impromptu sleep on the couch, to the first rains which reminded me of childhood crush and was a reminder to pause and indulge in the ticking minutes that’s leaving my life.

I hope dear readers that you pause and enjoy. Give yourself the time to realise what you’re missing out on; in the rush to chase your next dream. The things that are changing and leaving the world you knew to be yours, the street that no more has the old shop, the tree at the bend of the corner which has vanished. The city you left behind is slowly changing behind your back. Soon when you’ll look back all will only be a memory, at least what you knew to be yours.

Please go and visit your old friends, the uncles and the aunts you rarely give a call, embrace your ageing parents with as much tenderness as you would your growing child. Visit the towns you’ve left behind in your path, the colleagues who had been your comrades, cousins and old flames before all becomes memories….before you become a memory.

Always yours,

Pocket full of life

Letter to the Unknown Reader Series 1 - Letter from Tranquility

 Dear Reader,

How have you been? Have you noticed how a week flies by before you can bat a lid. My weekly blogs seem like whiffs in the wind. They just fly by in jet-set speed scattering memories like fallen leaves across my life.

Last week I had been fortunate enough to fulfil a long time wish of seeing fireflies which throng the villages and  forest areas in Maharashtra just before the monsoon hits the state. The magical photos I had seen in social media enchanted me enough, to indulge in the experience. I had visited this place earlier but not in this particular season, so an off beat email from Native Place got me planning. A rustic, enchanting home-stay, tucked in the side of Pawna lake, offered a glimpse of this wonderful night time magic. In the hope of catching the firefly dance, we set off for an overnight trip accompanied by my bestie and her family along with mine. 

The lake by itself was calmness personified, its gentle ripple would seep into your soul slowly. But the owners warned that it’s very dip and not to venture in for a swim. I always wondered that a lake is like a woman’s heart. From the surface its tranquil beauty will never betray its innermost secrets. The pain, the sacrifice, the love which is held inside, froths out only when it gets touched by the gentle touch of the comforting warmth of another woman. The kindred spirits shine and dance in unison like two fireflies in the dark. And none of those stories are either earth shattering or dramatic. The web of conversation two women cast are everyday stories of morning rush, forgetful husbands, cooking of tiffins, and daily routine. But then a world of women is such where superhero like spate of activities are also made to look mundane, by their kindness, warmth, grit and intelligence. They make mammoth changes in a very orderly, simplistic manner without making too much fuss.

So sitting on the rocks at the side of the lake which was like a mirror reflection of the sky, two women wove stories with words, in warm whispers, sharing notes, laughter and tears. Both being reflections of the tranquility of the lake and the calmness of the evening. They wrapped the turbulence of their lives in most ordinary words just as women do.

So my dear readers, if you are a woman, cheers to your magical prowess of turning every piece of your world into ordinary, calm, life routines. And if you’re not, then look around and observe the magic you live in because of such wonderful women in your lives.

See you next week, till then from the shores of Mumbai hope Cyclone Biporjoy do not cause much biporjoy ( turbulence) in your lives.

Always yours,

Pocket full of life.