Hello Dearest Reader,
Almost a month has passed us by in this brand new year. Can you imagine before we could actually begin, we are left with just eleven more months instead of twelve. I’m fond of the number 11. It seems there’s a special connection with this number and me. My organs seem to check into an operation theatre on this date and come out safe and sound. Either replaced or repaired. One happened on 11th of August and the other on 29th of November and you see how the numbers played their game. 29 reduces itself to 11. Funny if you watch them and fancy the coincidence. Theatrics aside this letter is neither about numerology nor about medical shenanigans. I wanted to write to you about how I spent the first month of this year!
The month tested my patience and gave enough opportunity to spike my anxiety. My son flew back to resume his winter semester. And how eventful was the flight! Snow causing delay in Munich, almost a missed flight in Atlanta and his luggage not reaching his University town with him. As he navigated travel fiascos alone for the first time, I realised as parents you helplessly live through your child’s ordeal without being able to do much barring being available for him to take a download of his frustrations. It was a new experience. To be a mother of a young adult was very different from mothering a baby boy. You have to let him navigate life, face its waves yet you can see how the strings of attachment impact your emotions as he traverses this labyrinth. You can’t do much. You watch, you pause, you feel and you reflect. Hoping desperately that years of raising him was good enough to ready him for facing his life. I traveled with him in my mind sitting in Mumbai through time zones watching him move mile by mile away from me.
If that’s not enough, the exercise to update your name in the election commission list unfolded in our country. Stuck to Mumbai with a recovering heart, I couldn’t travel to my home town for the formalities. But I dare say the lady officer in charge, who was responsible for my constituency was efficient, compassionate and exceptionally competent. She called me a number of times, understood my situation and provided solutions to get things resolved. It brought back faith in the system when I saw her managing the situation. I feel, for such individuals in our government, we still are able to run the public machinery catering to the humongous population of our country.
A old skirmish on road caused us more headaches than required and we had to invest time and connections on it. But most disappointing thing this month was to realise we have to do a femoral head ostectomy for Mithai, our pet Retriever - as his hips were both in very poor condition. Poor boy stopped playing and running though his enthusiasm was always sky high. Any exertion would cause him to limp. We would close this month with his surgery.
You can imagine January was trying and I decided to go slow, watch and reflect. At times the only option you have is to crouch like the cat in the sun. Just be! Breathe, pause and breathe again. Let the sun shine on you, let the chilly wind freeze your bones and snooze whenever life and circumstances allow you to. So I slowly without much ado, resumed life as best as I could. I gradually eased into my old clothes. Believe me a chest cut wide open is not a very pleasant condition to allow clothes to glide over it. You learn with practice and patience, what possibly you can wear and finally heal enough to go back to your regular wardrobe. I learned how to walk. Slowly first, then getting back to my original speed. I went back to my workout with my very patient trainer. Realised two pounds can be an effort and letting my body adapt to the move back to normalcy. I changed what I ate, how much I ate and when I ate. Simple things but a battle I had to fight silently.
I decided to be like the cats. Slow but sure in its movement. Watching and being. These cats gave me company and hope. Always appearing in my line of vision. Teaching me patience and curiosity at the same time. So taken was I with my feline companions that I decided to dedicate the first month to them. Watch out for a photo dump on my Gram. Hopefully each month of this year will inspire me differently and I’m looking forward to sharing them with you.
I hope your first month was better than mine in more ways than one. I’m not complaining. Life is like that and you live it with grace. Wishing you sun and warmth. May you have the purr alive always!
Always yours,
Pocket full of life
