Big Bang!

It's strange what 72 hours can do to ones's life. When you are living the daily rigour, you barely differentiate between two days of your crazy schedule. The mundane monotony robs you off the emotional and intelligence grid. Your day entails going through the motions.

Once upon a not so long time ago, a normal routine day for me, turned into a life changing trigger. On a flaky, sanitised morning, I went to work like any other day. I was not keeping well and thought that the long overdue doc's appointment should take pride place at the top of my 'To do' list. I took off during lunch hour and went to see my family physician. He was a beningn man, with a comforting smile; typical of a doctor. Post my check up his affable smile froze. And 'Wham'! I got my health bulletin. The doc thought best that I be admitted immediately in 'Intensive care unit' of a hospital.

There seemed to be a lot of complications in my 5ft 7 inches frame. Most of the explanations, went way over my head. I was cocooned into believing, it was a minor blip in my well crafted life. Denial at its best form! I for sure thought that I was going to resume my frenetic life at the earliest. Sooner than a blink of course! Like an obedient girl, I went back to my office and took leave for a few days.

Who knew that I stood at the brink of a cliff? And that my list of surprises had just begun. I went through the grind of getting hospitalised. Specialist doctors visited me like cherished friends. Some were good looking enough to give our movie stars a run for money. Their presence for obvious reasons elevated my otherwise dull mood. When I look back, that stint did give me a required break....albeit forcibly and I was secretly pleased about it, initially though. And it lasted a short time. Amidst a slew of tests and an elaborate spread of medicines, came the second 'Whammy'! I was told my hours are numbered. No one, kind of tried putting a finger on the exact details (very unlike our financial world). But it ranged from 2 days to 20 years depending on the benevolence of a clutch of medicines.

And in one 'Big Bang' my life changed. Everything which was kotty in the labyrinth of life fell into one simple wavy line. It resembled the gentle waves of the ocean, the smooth fold of the mountains and the roll of the green meadows. From trying to analyse balance sheets, maneuvering deals and tip toeing around minefield of emotions I started to enjoy 'Being'. I guess one is happier when ticking of clock doesn't signify your running - instead tells you that time is running out.

Suddenly the dappled sunlight mattered more, the innocent giggle mattered more, the first rains, the hot cuppa in a foggy winter morning mattered way more than never ending rush. The lost love, the last kiss, the falling in love, the giving into joy, all held the miracle of the universe in its baby fist.

I realised what matters to us is not worth a penny but a basketful of time (very precious these days) and a heart set (mind being rational doesn't always make the cut) to enjoy life. I more often than not gave in to the urge of jumping into that dreaded, joy chasing cycle. It's addictive. Funny..... how the cycle never seems to move forward! You keep pedalling till you burn out of exhaustion. My life taught me to take that one small step to get down the cycle. I can now have a good laugh about life and fill my heart with memories worth a telling.

My life skips, hops, jumps and picks peonies along the road.

Living the 'Rush'

Coping with city life, a super fast one that is - is difficult. To top it, if one has a demanding job one loves and a growing kid who takes more heart space than the job - life sure becomes one hell of a roller-coaster ride. Somewhere in the rush of our daily grind we forget romancing life. So busy we are with the 'Chase', that we end up forgetting the purpose of this nerve wracking sprint.

Look at me! My day which usually starts at '6' am in the morning doesn't end before mid night, when the dancing 'Cinderella' changes to 'Sleeping Beauty' in a jiffy. It took me a while to understand the problem. In the process of trying to have the so called 'Good Life', I have conveniently forgotten to enjoy 'Life' itself.

There were 'n' numbers of issues which stopped me from following my heart and giving in to the joy of 'being'.

The most important being physical tenacity. After a back breaking day, no amount of energy drink or the most exciting of adventures could entice me to move my tired limbs.

A close second is the fact, that I am a die hard conformist.Unfortunately routine structure creates a comfort cocoon that is not easy to break. Though nobody bothers a wee bit, but I care an awful lot to stick to the stereotype of the 'Super moms', where having 'Me time' is also guided by societal glossy imposed notions. I strive damn-est hard to look good, to shine at my work place, to be the world's best cook (at least for the sake of my foodie son), to be  the perfect daughter-in law, the loving wife, the responsible daughter.....basically to be one hell of a super woman (don't think its less difficult for the men - they only have a different measuring scale for perfectness). Hence I abhor doing things which fail to confirm to the self imposed image building process.

The last of the reasons which propelled me to monotony is that I'm averse to thinking 'bout my little moments of enchantments. I inundate myself with lot of excuses to avoid sitting with myself. I convince myself about my hallowed existence and defer changing a single aspect of it.

Armour-ed by all these, I give in to my daily pace. You see, in trying to be perfect, I conveniently forget to be 'Me'.

To escape from the rut, I've thought hard and deep. Finally I manged to land up with my own precious bucket list. A list which did act as a vent to my pent of frustrations. Thus it goes....

• Indulge in street food/good food/different type of cuisine/new dishes once a month to give your tongue a break from dietary routine.

• Do any impromptu fun activity. Dance with your kids, walk in the rain, splash in the pool, stroll in the moonlight, shimmy with your hubby...anything works. Just make sure its not your routine gym sessions or set patterned work out.

• Watch a movie. Specially those that don't fit your pallet.

• Tell some one a story and do that often. I swear the joy of seeing a child going awestruck with your gossamer 'make-believe-world', is unparalleled.

• Buy some flowers for yourself once in a while.

• Don't dress up. Simply be yourself.

• Love deeply and truly, but don't have any expectations attached to the emotion. Love as if your heart is going to burst with joy.

• Sing aloud. However funny your voice might sound (my best efforts sounds like a sleepy crow singing soprano), don't resist the temptation. There is joy in sound of music. Listen to happy music. A lovely collection is worth a mine of gold.

• Once a month, go where your heart desires and be with yourself. Be alone in a place which connects to you. I believe places have soul connect. We either take to a place easily or consider ourselves out of place. Choose your place and let go - be it lively sea side, glorious hilly trail, calming meadows, buzzing flea market, throbbing disco, or the nook in your drawing room, where you can curl up with your cuppa.

• After doing all these, there would still be moments when you will be sad, lonely or angry. These emotions are also an inherent part of being alive. Don't try to fix them. Live with them till they die down naturally. Sulk if you are angry (try not to hurt others though) mope by yourself when you are sad and cry as if your heart will break when you are lonely.

None of us are born with an everlasting positive frame of mind. We can inculcate being positive till it becomes our second nature. Joy within, doesn't mean we are never low. It means we have the strength of spirit to hit rock bottom and bounce back. Every single pearly tear is accompanied by frothy bubbly laughter. Try out the fixes, it works. It works for me and I can be epitome of melancholia on a given day.

To end the note, I need to mention the secret vitamin pills for the city survivors. Gossip with your girlfriends/hang out with your boy gang, plan 'kiddy' things with children (I have a son and hence the suggestion), laugh with the love of your life and spend time with your self.

Finally if you really cant, don't push yourself. Drop the bar, settle for being not so perfect, chill and let it pass. Here's to all my city slick friends....enjoy the rush at an unhurried pace.

Catching the 'Sparkle'

Life is to be enjoyed in bits and pieces. In a nook here, round the corner there, life sparkles like sunlight on rippling water. It bursts forth like the first rains and smells of the golden autumn leaves. The 'ploppy-sloppy' snow melts into riot of flowers as a year chases another. That's how life is, ever changing with myriad hues.

Its all about Monday morning 'Blues' and 'Euphoric' Fridays, baby hugs when you come back late from work, morning cuddles that make the day, the laughter, the easy banter, silent tears, small joys and angry arguments. Life like multicolored lozenges pops out of our pockets, giving us its flavored memories.

Hence this blog is about travelogues, memories, recipes for heart-heart chats, kitchen plunders, catastrophic blunders, ever tilting scale of work-life balance, quick catch up with nature, monologues with self, small battles waged daily, wonder of a growing kid, herculean task of shouldering all possible responsibilities, wonders of the moment and etc etc etc.

This is my way of catching the stories, the memories, the people and bottling them up to capture the essence of life.

You take a whiff....smile a little....remember fondly and move on with your unique memoirs matching notes with mine. Here's to zest for life....Let's keep our pockets full.