Coping with city life, a super fast one that is - is difficult. To top it, if one has a demanding job one loves and a growing kid who takes more heart space than the job - life sure becomes one hell of a roller-coaster ride. Somewhere in the rush of our daily grind we forget romancing life. So busy we are with the 'Chase', that we end up forgetting the purpose of this nerve wracking sprint.
Look at me! My day which usually starts at '6' am in the morning doesn't end before mid night, when the dancing 'Cinderella' changes to 'Sleeping Beauty' in a jiffy. It took me a while to understand the problem. In the process of trying to have the so called 'Good Life', I have conveniently forgotten to enjoy 'Life' itself.
There were 'n' numbers of issues which stopped me from following my heart and giving in to the joy of 'being'.
The most important being physical tenacity. After a back breaking day, no amount of energy drink or the most exciting of adventures could entice me to move my tired limbs.
A close second is the fact, that I am a die hard conformist.Unfortunately routine structure creates a comfort cocoon that is not easy to break. Though nobody bothers a wee bit, but I care an awful lot to stick to the stereotype of the 'Super moms', where having 'Me time' is also guided by societal glossy imposed notions. I strive damn-est hard to look good, to shine at my work place, to be the world's best cook (at least for the sake of my foodie son), to be the perfect daughter-in law, the loving wife, the responsible daughter.....basically to be one hell of a super woman (don't think its less difficult for the men - they only have a different measuring scale for perfectness). Hence I abhor doing things which fail to confirm to the self imposed image building process.
The last of the reasons which propelled me to monotony is that I'm averse to thinking 'bout my little moments of enchantments. I inundate myself with lot of excuses to avoid sitting with myself. I convince myself about my hallowed existence and defer changing a single aspect of it.
Armour-ed by all these, I give in to my daily pace. You see, in trying to be perfect, I conveniently forget to be 'Me'.
To escape from the rut, I've thought hard and deep. Finally I manged to land up with my own precious bucket list. A list which did act as a vent to my pent of frustrations. Thus it goes....
- Indulge in street food/good food/different type of cuisine/new dishes once a month to give your tongue a break from dietary routine.
- Do any impromptu fun activity. Dance with your kids, walk in the rain, splash in the pool, stroll in the moonlight, shimmy with your hubby...anything works. Just make sure its not your routine gym sessions or set patterned work out.
- Watch a movie. Specially those that don't fit your pallet.
- Tell some one a story and do that often. I swear the joy of seeing a child going awestruck with your gossamer 'make-believe-world', is unparalleled.
- Buy some flowers for yourself once in a while.
- Don't dress up. Simply be yourself.
- Love deeply and truly, but don't have any expectations attached to the emotion. Love as if your heart is going to burst with joy.
- Sing aloud. However funny your voice might sound (my best efforts sounds like a sleepy crow singing soprano), don't resist the temptation. There is joy in sound of music. Listen to happy music. A lovely collection is worth a mine of gold.
- Once a month, go where your heart desires and be with yourself. Be alone in a place which connects to you. I believe places have soul connect. We either take to a place easily or consider ourselves out of place. Choose your place and let go - be it lively sea side, glorious hilly trail, calming meadows, buzzing flea market, throbbing disco, or the nook in your drawing room, where you can curl up with your cuppa.
- After doing all these, there would still be moments when you will be sad, lonely or angry. These emotions are also an inherent part of being alive. Don't try to fix them. Live with them till they die down naturally. Sulk if you are angry (try not to hurt others though) mope by yourself when you are sad and cry as if your heart will break when you are lonely.
None of us are born with an everlasting positive frame of mind. We can inculcate being positive till it becomes our second nature. Joy within, doesn't mean we are never low. It means we have the strength of spirit to hit rock bottom and bounce back. Every single pearly tear is accompanied by frothy bubbly laughter. Try out the fixes, it works. It works for me and I can be epitome of melancholia on a given day.
To end the note, I need to mention the secret vitamin pills for the city survivors. Gossip with your girlfriends/hang out with your boy gang, plan 'kiddy' things with children (I have a son and hence the suggestion), laugh with the love of your life and spend time with your self.
Finally if you really cant, don't push yourself. Drop the bar, settle for being not so perfect, chill and let it pass. Here's to all my city slick friends....enjoy the rush at an unhurried pace.
